Recent Ramblings

So today my coworker had her baby. She had a C-section because she had to have an emergency C-section with her first child. He's so cute! It totally makes me want to have one. I've had baby fever for some time now, especially after seeing how freaking great Andrew is with Weenie's kid. I'm holding out though 'cause I can't afford to diaper a kid right now let alone pay for day care!!! A child would seriously be the death of me right now so I'll just settle for other people's children for the next couple of years.

I just found out recently that my cousin is pregnant. She's 18 years old, she just graduated, and she doesn't know who the dad is. GREAT. My family is going to be on Jerry F'ing Springer! Little hooker looks like me too so there will be no denying her when she makes her national appearance on "Who's My Baby's Daddy?" They should seriously make a reality show out of that seeings how it's such a popular theme in America these days.

I like to stick with one man myself. Speaking of which, today Andrew and I have been together for 10 months. Woohoo! I whopping 10 months! It seems so small when I think about all we've already been through together. It seems like we've been together FOR-EV-ER (think Sandlot here folks). He bought me a dozen roses today as a surprise. He's such a good boy :). I love him lots.

So it turns out that my life is pretty dang boring right now so I'm going to throw some more pictures your way. Nobody reads this shit anyway so it's really for my own benefit and damn it, I feel like looking at some of my own pictures!

Tyler got a Nintendo DS. This is the only view I see of him these days.

Sorry Weenie but the $22 you spent trying to keep Franking OUT of Gidget's food bowl was not money well spent!

Awww...... Frankie gets a bath!

Oh yeah, scratch there again!

Gidget:

"Frankie, you've really gotta stop hanging from my ears with your teeth. It's really quite unpleasant."
Frankie:

"What? You want a piece of me?"

Copper Comments...

Even though I'm not exactly what I'd call a fan of cops sometimes I totally understand where they get their smart ass remarks..... I can totally picture our local cops saying this stuff!
(This was an email that was forwarded to me)

HESE 16 POLICE COMMENTS WERE TAKEN OFF ACTUAL POLICECAR VIDEOS AROUND THE COUNTRY:

#16. "You know, stop lights don't come any redder than the one you just went through."
#15. "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new They'll stretch after you wear them awhile."
#14. "If you take your hands off the car, I'll makeyour birth certificate a worthless document."
#13. "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."
#12. "Can you run faster than 2700 feet per second?Because that's the speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you."
#11. "You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on theticket, huh?"
#10. "Yes sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor,but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?"
#9. "Warning! You want a warning? O.K. I'm warningyou not to do that again, or I'll give you another ticket!"
#8. "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"
#7. "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs, and step in monkey poop."
#6. "Yeah we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."
#5. "In God we trust, all others run through NCIC."
#4. "How big were those just two beers you say you had?"
#3. "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can."
#2. "I'm glad to hear that the Chief is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post yourbail."
AND THE WINNER IS.....
#1. "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets?You're right, we don't. Sign here."

Mm.... cookie dough!

I honestly think that chocolate chip cookie dough is the greatest thing on earth. That's right, I said dough. I eat it raw. Eggs and everything. Mmm....... Don't you? Today I made a batch of cookies just for the sake of eating the dough. Oh sure, after only a couple heaping teaspoons I felt physically ill but it was sooo worth it! I can pawn the cookies off on the boy, the kids, or my coworkers. I also made sugar cookie dough and I'm anxiously awaiting the arrival of weenie and the kids so that we can dig into the dough and rapidly ruin my perfectly clean kitchen. It will be so worth it though. And by that I mean the fun the kids will be having, not the fact that I'll have dozens of cookies although that is a major plus :).

That reminds me, remember when y'all thought my house was a hostile environment and you warned Weenie not to move in here? Yeah, that was really uncalled for. It's cool though, I'm over it. Kinda.

Anywho!! I'm going back to work tomorrow after 2 days off being sick. Blah! I still feel like doo-doo but I can't stay home anymore! The house is clean, the laundry is done, I've baked cookies, watched a million movies and done a ton of reading! I need assholes again! The plus side is that I can't heard a darned thing so listening to customers whine/lie/yell/stay incredibly stupid things won't be as bad!

Apparently Gidgie is sick too 'cause she woke me up about 15 times last night to go out and go poo. Not sure how she got sick, I can only guess that she got some form of my virus 'cause she hasn't eaten anything out of the norm. Hmmm... strange.

Nothing but some cute pictures

Andrew and Ariel gardening




























Apparenlty it was too bright out for Gidget to get any real sleep so she decided to put her head under the bed where it's much darker :)













Aww.... Gidget and Frankie sharing!

Quarantine

I'm dying. On a weekend. WTF? My throat started feeling scratchy a couple of days ago and today I couldn't swallow and the mere act of sneezing almost brought me to tears. So I skipped the day out with the in laws that I had planned and cruised over to after hours care at the clinic where I was informed that I have strept. Yippee. Why couldn't it wait until a weekday so I could at least stay home from work and still get to enjoy my weekend? What a crock. So here I am voluntarily quaratined in my bedroom so that I don't spread my germies to the wee wittle wons. Kiddies with strept throat = BAD.

Alright Dish Network Guy - put your dukes up!

Just kidding! Kinda....

Actually I have tendenitis (sp?). It's from typing too much and it hurts very much bad. I've been complaining about it for awhile and finally Weenie and The Boy convinced me to make a doctor's appointment. I called the doctor up and they said I had to go through Worker's Compensation. Ekk!!! Reluctantly I told my boss who called HR who sent me to Occupational Health this morning. The diagnosis - tendenitis. The prognosis - full recovery. The treatment - A full week of these babies!!!

I have to wear them at work and while I sleep. YUUUUUCK! Whatever. Tendenitis hurts really bad. I'll suffer through the arm braces it if means I don't feel pain anymore. The fun part is telling the customers that I hurt myself boxing my coworker :).

On a brighter note... look how freaking cute Weenie's kid is.

Country Fried Weekend!

Saturday the boy and I headed up to Konocti to watch The Charlie Daniel's band with my parents. I love me some Charlie Daniels! Of course I love all things country music but whatever. Everything would have been swell had it not been for the rock hard bed that we had to sleep in and the fact that it was head to head with my parents bed in the next room over! Needless to say all we did was (try) to sleep. Sunday we headed back down the valley and stopped at the lavendar festival. Basically it was a bunch of hippies picking lavendar out of the fields. I wasn't about to go near the damn lavendar because I've never seen so many bees in all my life. NO THANK YOU. I'll buy some lavendar at the store.

Later that evening we headed up to Colusa for the county fair. Yeehaw! We shot guns in a orchard for awhile. Actually, I sat under a tree and watched bugs crawl around near me while Andrew and his step dad shot guns then we were off to the derby. Two corn dogs, one large pepsi and one large lemonade later I was sitting in the burning hot sun having a heat stroke watching a bunch of hormone raged boys crash into each other. Aww... the life of a country girl. The only problem with the night was the horror film like bugs that were attacking me for about 15 mins straight. No joke, the bastards came down from the lights for no apparent reason and went at us full steam ahead. I was thisclose to running out of there screaming with my arms waving and my shirt up over my head. Colusa is such a pretty town. I love it so much! That little town is home to the smallest mountain range in the world, you know. The lovely Sutter Buttes!

Gidgie's little cousin Frankie

Meet the newest addition to our household! Little Frankie the weiner dog....

He's so cute :)

Dish Network Part ll

The dish network guy came today. Oh wait, I meant dish network guyS. It took two of the bastards to destroy my house. I was at work when the bastards arrived and I had left Andrew (another man) in charge. Big mistake. The first thing I noticed is that the rather large, rather heavy, already-been-broken-twice entertainment center is sitting about 2 ft away from the wall. Apparently it was way too much trouble to put it back up against the wall. Then I walked down the hall and saw the kids room. Yikes! The bastards trashed the place and didn't even move the bed back up agains the wall. So after all this I turn on the TV in my bedroom and it doesn't work. It says something about TV 1 doing something and it's been saying that for hours.

Seriously. Need I say more? I'm thinking about sending the pictures to the company with a letter of complaint.

Dear Dish Network Guy.....

.....You're an idiot!!!

Yesterday I call my phone company to order Dish Network and have it all combined onto one nice neat bill. They tell me that they can't open a Dish Network account for me because my name is coming up under an active account with Dish Network and I'll have to call them and straigten it out. Seeings how I used to have Dish Network I thought I understood the problem so I called them up to clarify. The conversation went like this:

DN: Thank you for calling Dish Network, this is the biggest moron on earth speaking, how can I help you?

ME: Yes, Hello. I called ATT today to set up a Dish Network account and they are showing that I still have an active account with you guys that I need to close before I can start services with them.

DN: *searches my name, address, social security number* No, you don't have an open account with us. Just go ahead and call ATT back and tell them that you don't have an open account with us.

ME: Right. Well you see I already told them that I didn't have an open account and they didn't believe me because your computer system is telling them otherwise.

DN: Nope, nothing wrong here. Just go ahead and call them back.

ME: *realizing that there's no way ATT is just going to take my word for it* Well since I have you on the phone can I just set up services with you?

DN: What?

ME: You know, I'd like to start a new service.

DN: Oh right! I can help you with that. Let's see... I'm going to need your name and your new address.

(I give him the neccessary information)

DN: It seems that you've had an account with us before. Several actually, I'm showing multiple addresses.

ME: Yes, I did have a Dish Network account once and I moved a few times while I had the service. I called and cancelled it back in February and returned the dish and the receivers.

DN: Oh, ok. Let me try this again.

(Long pause.......)

Well it seems that I can't set you up a new account because you've already had multiple accounts with us before. We're showing L st and M st addresses. The computer won't let me start a new account and you can't receive our channels without our dish and receivers.

ME: Umm.. yeah. I had one account and I MOVED a few times while I had it. I called up that service you have called "Dish Movers" and a nice man named David came out and helped me move our dish and our service. I've only ever had ONE account.

DN: Well the computer is not letting me sign you up for a new account.

ME: So what? I don't ever get to have Dish Network again because I cancelled my account once? I paid everything, I didn't have any delinquent bills, I returned my equipment. I don't see how it wouldn't be possible for me to get another account. Can we just reopen my old account and have the services moved to my new address?

DN: Hmm... I guess we could. Let me see..... Oh! What do you know! It worked. Ok, we'll have you ready to rock in roll by Tuesday.

ME: Why thank you! And next time, don't be such a fuck up. This is the second time in a week that I've had to tell someone how to do their job and that's just not my thing. I don't like telling people how to do something I know nothing about. Can I shoot you?

Ok, so maybe the last line is a little bit exaggerated but I was seriously thinking it, I swear! What is with people these days? I mean, honestly I would be horribly embarrassed if someone came to my counter and then had to tell me how to do something that should be the first thing you learned when you started the job.

I can just imagine....

DEF: Excuse me, I'd like to pay my ticket.

ME: Well it looks to me like you've paid a ticket here before. I'm sorry sir but you're not going to be able to pay tickets here ever again. Just go ahead and get your tickets in other counties from here on out, k?

Hello Roomies!

So Weenie and the kids officially moved into today and I must say that it wasn't nearly as stressful or as awkward as I had anticipated. Everything is running as smooth as a well oiled machine and I'm very much looking forward to the company since Andrew is always working. I think this will be a good exercise for Andrew as well as he thinks he is so ready to have kids and I don't think he really knows how hard kids are. Hopefully he'll get himself a taste :). As I type I'm gagging on febreeze because Ariel sprayed half a can throughout the house. She says she likes the smell and that my bathroom smells funky. I made the mistake of telling her that Andrew's side of the bed smells bad. I hope he doesn't mind sleeping in a puddle of febreeze.... Kids, you gotta love 'em! The good news is that my house smells quite fresh now and will probably smell quite fresh for a few days to come. Ariel is such a sweet pea though - she made Andrew and I cards :). Now isn't that cute? Gidgie is the most excited because now she has kids to play with!!! Yippee!!! Someone with enough energy to run laps around the front yard with her! What more could a dog ask for?

Baby showers and stupid men

So today we had a baby shower at work that I planned for my coworker. I've been working all week perfecting my duckie cake and I finally got it to come out half way decent! It's supposed to stand up but mine didn't rise enough on the back side which made him lopsided so he had to lay down. I'm no martha stewart but damn I'm proud of my duckie cake!

I'm still not horribly good at working this blogger thing but whatever.....

So the baby shower was fun and everyone had a good time. I even made kick as party favors! Her theme was winnie the pooh so I bought a bunch of honey sticks and tied them together with a honey pot shaped peice of paper that said "A little hunny is coming our way, thank you for sharing our special day." Pretty damn good, huh? I stole the saying off the internet.

Tomorrow is a big day for us! Weenie and the kids move in first thing in the morning and Andrew and I are back in roommate land again. I'm happy because Andrew is never home. He always seems to be working and he always works late and doesn't tell me. He's soooooo bad with time and it drives me INSANE. So we got into another fight today because he didn't get home until 9 and didn't bother to tell me he was going to be late until 7:45 (1:15 after he should have gotten off of work). Yes I realize he doesn't exactly watch the clock while working on the engine of a bus but I still think that a normal person knows when it's close to quitting time. To make matters worse he wasn't home to help me move everything out of the office for the kids so I got stuck doing it alone. I got the computer moved and my scrapbook tables but there is still 2 shelves in there that I'm not even going to touch. He can do that much! So in honor of me being pissed at him I'm going to post a picture of one of my biggest pet peeves. Honey, I know you're a mechanic and you get all greasy and stuff but seriously - how hard is it to wash your freaking hands BEFORE getting in the fridge! GRRRRRR.......