Winchester Mystery House and LeAnn Rimes

Yesterday was fantabulous!!!! Really, it was F'ing awesome. Weenie and I started out with a breakfast of champions from Nations in Vacaville. Mmm... bacon. Then we cruised down to the Winchester Mystery House for a grand estate tour (mansion and behind the scenes). For those of you that haven't been to the Winchestery Mystery house it's a MUST. If you don't even know what I'm talking about I highly recommend you look it up on the internet. Here's the jist of it :

Sarah Winchester married the guy who owned Winchester rifles and ammunition. When her husband and baby died she consulted a psychic who told her that she was being haunted by the spirits of the people killed by the Winchester rifles and to appease them she must build them a house and it must be in construction 24/7. She moved to San Jose and started building and she built continuosly for 38 years. The great part is that she built doors that open to walls or that drop off the side of the house along with stair cases that go nowhere and staircases where you have to go up and then down to go down and so and so far. She was rich as hell so it's amazing in there! A little hot in the summer time but freaking amazing!!!!!!

From Winchester we went to Chevy's and had some yum yums and margaritas. MMMM......

Then we started our ascent to the Mountain View Winery. If you've never been to the Mountain View Winery you must go. It's amazing beyond words. It's on top of this massive hill that over looks all of San Jose. It's honestly breath taking. Just a word of advice for anyone going up there - the sign that says "Sound Horn" means you have to honk you're horn while going around the turn. Yeah, I didn't know that. I asked Arlene what a sound horn was. I wasn't sure but I thought my horn was pretty sound. She advised me to stop talking and go back to licking windows :).

LeAnn Rimes puts on a great show and she has some fantastic new songs coming out! I'm so freaking excited about her new album! It's going to be great. I will say that up until yesterday I had never seen a performer wear such casual clothes. She just came out in shorts and a sleeveless shirt. Hell, I don't blame her. It's probably hot as fuck on that stage in the middle of summer singing and dancing around. I'm just used to a little pizazz I guess. We had great seats but we ended up getting out of them and going to the back to stand. Nobody in the stands was actually standing and I just can't do a concert sitting down. I can't. It's not right! We were so hyped up on the way home all we did was giggle until we literally hurt. Oh, and we scored some free banana's at the 7-11.

Here's some pictures for your viewing enjoyment:

My Post Office Rant

I don't think that people should be able to solicit you for political reasons in front of the Post Office. It's just wrong. Actually, I don't think they should be able to solicit you anywhere for that kind of garbage. Girlscouts selling cookies are cute. Old men who care waaaay too much about abortion laws or gay marriages or whatever are not cute. In fact it's just scary if you ask me. It's so hard to avoid the creeps! All I'm trying to do is get my mail. That's it. I don't want to sign up for your petition or to receive your junk mail or to listen to you rant about crap that I don't care about. All my life I've been plagued by these people! They stalk you at college, at the grocery store, and now the freaking post office. What next? Am I going to have to listen to them before I get to order at Wendy's? Please people, just go away. I'm not political. I'm just a girl trying to get her mail and I'm getting way too old to convince people that I'm not 18 yet.

On a brighter note, my boss is recommending me for a promotion. Not a huge promotion but I'll be going from Legal Process Clerk I to Legal Process Clerk II. I'll still be doing the same work but I'll get paid more. I think I'm pretty deserving as I work the counter and know my shit when it comes to traffic court. I'm not perfect by any means but there are times when I have to correct people that have been there longer than I have! I think it's because I do the counter and I have to deal with every situation all day long. Anywho, I'm happy. More money is a good thing :).

Chim chim cheree!!

Chim chim-in-ey, chim chim-in-ey
Chim chim cher-ee!
A sweep is as lucky, as lucky can be
Chim chim-in-ey, chim chim-in-ey
Chim chim cher-oo!
Good luck will rub off when I shakes 'ands with you

I'm sitting at my kitchen table on Weenie's lap top writing to you as my chimney gets cleaned. I know it's the middle of summer but what the hey - the rental company sent them out and they're paying so who am I to complain. It's probably easier to clean them in the summer anyway 'cause they're not be used :).

I'm not horribly happy about having to stay home as I made the appointment with the assumption that Andrew would be home this morning. Turns out that the got called in by the CHP to do some bit inspections for a farming company that is about to have it's trucks shut down. On one hand it's totally awesome that Andrew is such a good mechanic that the CHP called him because they were impressed with the inspections/work that he did on another company's trucks. On the other hand it sucks that I have to use my vacation time to sit here and keep the dog from humping the chimney cleaners leg. I could really go for some gatorade right now. Random, I know, but that's how I feel.

I've had a really grumpy week. I can't wait for Friday when I get a day off and get to go to the Winchester Mystery House and see Leann Rymes (sp???). Here are some of my current bitches:

1. How come I can't find a freaking bra that fits right? It's absurd.
2. Why did I wake up so bloated that I couldn't barely walk?
3. Why can't Andrew walk into the house just once without dragging in dirt, grease, or freaking grass clippings?!!?!
4. Why won't Frankie and Gidget stop trying to make babies together? Frankie is still a baby himself?!?!
5. Why is my F'ing electricity bill $400?!?!?!!!? I'm still not over this one.
6. Why does Andrew find it necessary to work so freaking late on his side jobs leaving me in bed alone almost every night? I hate it!
7. How come people can't figure out how to take care of a fix it ticket? The freaking instructions are written on the back of the ticket!!!
8. How come I can't get a good night's sleep anymore? Between the dog and Andrew I get woken up like 5 times a night!
9. Why won't the frog in my throat die already!!!!!!
10. Why can't Frankie stop barking/growling/whining/using the carpet as a bathroom? Why can't Gidget act like the good girl she is anymore???

Grr.. so there's my morning rant. I actually wish I was at work right now because I could be catching up on some Trial by Declarations and enjoying the company of Radyne who's life stories always make me feel better :).

Meet my Froggie

For the last 2 years I've had a frog in my throat. It drives me crazy. It bothers me at work and irritates my coworkers to no end. It bothers me at home and prohibits me from sleeping at times. I've been to the doctor and guess what? They don't have an answer. Oh wait, yes they do - allergies. Or was it because I'm fat? I don't remember but those are always the two excuses for everything that ails me in life. I could have my foot severed and the doctor would say that it was because I was putting too much weight on it OR my foot was allergic to my leg. But anyway, I digress. The frog must die. I can't handle it anymore. Does anyone have any home remedies for a frog????? I've tried allergy medicine but it doesn't seem to work and it's expensive as all hell. My favorite doctor once asked me if the frog comes down from my sinuses or up from my chest. He doesn't come from anywhere!!! He's permenantly logged in my throat! If I knew how he got there I wouldn't be paying you to figure it out!

Today was only slightly better than yesterday. It wasn't horrible but I had to write 2 dozen letters to people who don't know what the Fuck they are doing and can't follow directions. I usually write like 4-5 letters in the course of the day so by then end I was typing them with much anger in my fingers. I'm also slightly depressed because Andrew has been working alot lately and I'm feeling very needy right now. I know he has to work hard so that we can afford to actually eat on our vacation and to cover the $488 gas bill and the $400 pg&e bill but I can't help but miss him when he's gone. The sad part is that just when we think we're getting ahead something knocks us down again. But I guess that's the way life goes, right? Ho Hum. I'm in a feel sorry for myself mood tonight.

I started reading the book Zodiac. Yeah I know the movie came out like a year ago but whatever, I was behind on my reading alright. I had to catch up on some books I got before Zodiac before I could start on it. So far it's pretty interesting. Scary as all hell seeings how the Zodiac murders happened with 100 miles of my home, one almost in my backyard (Lake Berryessa). What really scares me is that the guy was never caught. In the movie it makes it look like it's GOT TO BE that Lee fellor but they could never find enough evidence to actually charge him. I'm curious to see what the books says. I can only hope that modern technology makes it easier for the coppers to find serial killers these days. It's a scary world we live in.....
But yet I sleep with my back door open because I'm too lazy to let the dog out 15 times a night now that she's in heat and she has to go a million times an hour. Hmmm.... I'm going to have nightmares tonight.

Oh! So here's a random tidbit of information. When I was 19 I had a crush on one of my male friends, Sal. I told him about my feelings one drunken night when he was giving me a ride home from a party. Sal promptly slammed on the brakes, kicked me out of the car, and sped off. NO SHIT. I even have a witness. Needless to say we didn't stay friends and he didn't speak to me for about a million years. Coincidently, he's dating my coworkers daughter. Small world! That's not the scary part. The scary part is that last night I had a dream that I was cuddling with this cute fellor who I don't think I know in real life and then later in the dream that cute fellor turned into Sal and we were MAKING OUT in a shower. YUCK. Even in my dream it felt all wrong and awkward. He was all stiff and boxy, not soft and accepting like my wonderful boyfriend. Ew EW EWWWW. I can understand why he came into my dream but why the F did he have to be someone I made out with?!? Usually my make out/have sex with boys that are not my boyfriend dreams are good and I secretly feel guilty about enjoying them but this one just made me feel icky. I feel like he violated my dream. Arg...

Somebody just shoot me!

So I should have known that this was going to be a bad day when Frankie DIDN'T piss on me when I woke his ass up this morning. That should have been my sign that something was off kilter. I get to work and before I even sign on to my computer Chris, the security guard, is asking me where her copies are.

?????

'Cause I'm supppossed to know the answer immediately upon arrival??? I look at the photocopy machine and it's jammed. Big surprise. It hasn't made a single copy of her 100 double sided papers. So I start working on it like any nice girl would. Before I can even locate the jam people are lining up at my window. Ok, so I start helping them. Chris starts asking about her copies. I'm getting irritated. The photocopy machine won't print even though I've cleared the jam and opened every single freaking compartment on the damned machine. Finally it starts spitting out papers and Radyne opens up and starts helping with customers. This all went down between 8:00 and 8:07 and by 8:07 I had already collected $1500.00 in fines.

The day continues to be busy but it's not so bad. I'm managing fine. Lunch time rolls around and I hit up the post office like I usually do and I find my PG&E bill waiting for me. I open 'er up to see what the damage is and I almost topple down the stairs from heart attack. $400 freaking dollars!! I've never had a bill over $250 before and when it's that high I almost die. $400. Do you know what that can buy???? $400 on electricity. Mainly it's the A/C and the laundry. See everyone in my house except for me thinks that it should be a constant 70 degrees which leaves me freezing my ass off most of the time but I get by with some blankies. NO MORE. 76 is as low as it goes from now on!!!!!! Plus we're going to have to cut back on some laundry. 5 people with my ghetto washer/dryer is obviously adding up!

So I drive home in shock and when I arrive I see a familiar piece of pink paper stuck under the windshield of the Kia. A PARKING TICKET! This is the 3rd f'ing time the parking nazi has been to my culdesac in 2 weeks! My CULDESAC. That's right, my residential not a through road street. What the F is the parking nazi doing over here?!?! The only logical explanation is that the neighbors are calling them and asking them to ticket us. When the ugly ass brown boat that we couldn't register was here I understood. It was ugly, it was unusable, and it took up parking. I get it. My car got ticketed because we were trying to be considerate of the neighbors by parking perpendicular to the curb instead of parallel and we get a ticket for parking on the sidewalk (yes, my front tires were slightly on the sidewalk and just for the record the curbs are slanted, not block. Kind of like a driveway all the way around). Now I could see if we lived on a narrow street where parking perpendicular would be a problem but we live at the end of the culdesac. You know, the part that gets REALLY wide like a huge lake at the end of the river? Whatever.

It gets worse. As I'm eating lunch I hear a knock on the door. No way I'm answering that bitch because it's probably a neighbor who wants to bitch because he can hear Frankie barking from inside his kennel inside the house. Or because Andrew's tomatoes plants are growing out of control and making the front porch look ratty. Or because Andrew's truck is too loud when he leaves at 7:30 am (I had a neighbor bitch about my ex boyfriend's truck being too loud. It was a brand new, stock diesel with factory exhaust). Who the hell knows but I surely wasn't in the mood for it. So lunch is over and I go to put the weiner dog back in his cage (he can't go outside with Gidget because Gidget is in heat) and the little shit pees on my foot! Luckily I was barefoot and it was an easy clean up. Oh, I forgot to mention that Frankie has taken to shitting on the back porch instead of in the dirt or grass and when I let Gidget in she ran full steam ahead through Frankie's shit and left shitty foot prints throughout the house. THANK GOD FOR SPOT BOT!!!! If I have any fibers in my carpet left when we move out it will be a freaking miracle.

So I'm pretty much done. Done with bills that I can't pay. Done with trying to appease the neighbors. Done with trying to get Andrew to remember to turn off the hose that he turned on.....

DONE. I'm going to read my book now and possibly take a nap. I think I'm deserving :).

Life for Dummies

I was sitting at my desk today talking to my partner in crime about how I'm going to write a book called Traffic Citation for Dummies that teaches the people of California how NOT to act like jackasses when they get a traffic citation. Radyne suggested that someone should write an instruction manual for life that details what to do in all kinds of awkward situations. I took it upon myself to accept this task but so far I've only come up with one chapter and that was only to help Radyne. See, Radyne's fiance is a pilot and they are flying up to Mendocino this weekend in the plane he built (yikes!!!) to go fishing in the ocean with a man who is known to sink his ships. Radyne is worried because she gets sea sick so she's forgoing alcohol in favor of Dramamine. Her concern is that when the ship sinks she'll be the only sober one when the sharks start chewing on their legs.

My solution: Take a pocket knife with you and keep it in your pants pocket. Stay on deck of the boat so you don't get caught underwater when the ship sinks. When you are all safely floating along the top of the water and you see the sharks approach quickly take out your pocket knife and shank the guy who caused the boat to wreck in the first place. The sharks will smell his blood and eat him while you swim to safety. This is, of course, is if she survives the plane ride.

So what do you think? Pretty morbid, huh? But hell, sometimes you have to be morbid to survive. Radyne thinks I may have something wrong with me today because I also suggested that a certain customer who was throwing a full out toddler tantrum about paying $10 for his fix it ticket when he makes $50 an hour (he was sure to tell us this multiple times) should just do us all a favor and take his $10 down to the nearest Walmart and invest in a nice, shiny BULLET to put him and everyone else out of their misery. I mean really people - $10? You can barely eat at McDonald's for that price anymore! Get over it.

In other non related news the puppy ate my flip flop today. He must die.

My life has gone to the dogs!

Literally. The dogs are taking over my life. It's absurd. So Gidget is our 4 year old lab who recently went into heat. Since her and her family are known far and wide for their duck hunting skills we decided it would be a good idea to breed her and make a few extra bucks. We just happen to have a friend who has a gorgeous papered black lab male that was interested in breeding him. Sounds simple right? Of course it does. Andrew goes and picks up Snoop (the male) and brings him down to our house for a week of what I thought was going to be the best time of his life. WRONG. The little fucker hiked his leg on the wall and the garbage can within 3 minutes of his arrival. Outside goes the snoop dog. Problem fixed right? Ha! Wrong again. Precious little Snoop is trampling the garden so my genius boyfriend decided to put Gidget's harness on him and tie him to a chain. At last! The end of our problems! Well for at least 5 mins. I go to bed and Snoop goes into this horrible whining, barking, howling fit that is keeping me up and I KNOW it's pissing the neighbors off. So I go out back to see what the hell is going on. On a side note here Andrew insists we sleep nude. I know, I know - too much information but it's pertinant to the story, trust me. So I'm out in MY backyard (there's a slider in my bedroom) in my birthday suit fighting with the freaking beasts and I hear a voice that sounds like it's coming from my back yard say "Oh shit!!!" followed by the sound of a sliding glass door shutting. I assume it's my nocturnal roommate at the slider in the dining room so I continue my struggle with the black beast who has somehow managed to get off his chain and then I head back inside. Something tells me I should ask Weenie if it was her that saw me nekkid in the backyard. Guess what? It wasn't. So some random strange peeping Tom neighbor got more than they bargained for last night! That's right, people. If you here my dog making weird noises at night time just put in some damn earplugs and go about your business! So I decide I should just let the dog in so that I don't cause drama between me and my neighbors. He immediately hikes his leg on my bed. Out goes the Snoop dog once more. At this point I'm pissed off and Andrew is in Natomas buying parts for a truck he's repairing. I call him and tell him to get home and do something because I'm not getting any sleep and neither is anyone else in the neighborhood. So he comes home and sets up a kennel in our bedroom for snoop to sleep in. He still whined and I had to say NO 20 million times but eventually we all fell asleep and all was good in the world.

Until day 2.

I put Snoop and Gidget out in the morning to go potty and I didn't bother to chain up Snoop because I was lazy and in my work clothes, etc. Plus it was Andrew's day off so I figured what the hell right? Andrew gets up and looks out back...... no Snoop. Little fucker jumped the 7 ft fence and was chilling in the neighbors yard. Andrew coaxes his ass back over and chains his ass back up. Another hour goes by and Andrew goes out back to check on the dogs and there's the chain.... there's the harness..... No Snoop. The pyscho has managed to get out of his harness (not a collar, a harness!) and jumped the freaking fence again. BASTARD. So guess what Andrew gets to do? Roam Woodland looking for this damn dog that isn't wearing a tag since he left his harness behind him. Throughout the course of the day Andrew tied him up 3 more times, each time tightening his harness and he got out 3 more times! He's finally stuck. We called the owner and told him this dog isn't working out and he said he'd come by and get it. That was like 8 hours ago. Did I mention that the owner is a huge flake. Andrew called and said he was going to put Snoop back in the owners yard but the owner wasn't down with that because he was leaving and he didn't want Snoop escaping from his yard. Apparently he's a 4 legged Hudini and the owner never bothered to tell us! So here we go into night 2 with pyscho dog. And of course, Gidget wants nothing to do with him. Good times!

I leave you with a recipe for hotdog burritos.

Ingredients:

1 cute, cuddly, loveable weiner dog

1 soft, fuzzy blanket

Put the hotdog in the blanket. Fold up the ends and roll. Violia! Hotdog burrito!

Reno and South Lake Tahoe

Woohoo! We just got back from Reno and South Lake Tahoe and we had so much fun! We needed to get away just the two of us for awhile. Our life has become so routine and we never have the money to do fun stuff. This trip was sooo worth the money we spent. We drove up to Reno Monday night and stayed at Circus Circus. Tuesday morning we drove into Virginia City which is the largest historical landmark in the nation. The whole city is a landmark :). We got our old time pictures taken and we toured an underground mine that's in one of the casinos. We also stopped to take a peek at the suicide table (so named because all of it's owners lost so much money they commited suicide) and the silver dollar lady who's dress is made entirely of silver dollars. I highly recommend Virginia City to anyone who loves history and is in the Reno/Carson City area. Oh yeah! This feller was doing a gold panning thing and he taught Andrew how to pan for gold! Andrew is alllllll excited about his 4 flakes and he's begging me to let him buy some pans to take out to the creeks. I think I'm gonna let him go for it. What the hell - maybe we'll strike rich :).

Wednesday we headed to South Lake Tahoe where we rode the paddle wheel ship the M.S. Dixie. It went out to Emerald Bay which is quite possibly the most beautiful water I've ever seen in my entire life. It was freaking amazing! Again, I highly recommend it.

So here's the shitty part of the trip. We stop at Harrah's to do some gambling and we sign up for the player's club thinking that we might win more with a card. They gave us this little box thing and said that it MIGHT light up within 2 hours and if it does we can come back to the desk to claim our prize of anywhere between $5 and $1000. We didn't pay it much attention because of course we knew we wouldn't win. We checked them before we left and of course they weren't blinking so off we go. We get home and low and behold the fuckers are both BLINKING!!! So I called the freaking number on the back of the card and of course they won't talk to you over the phone and they want you to go to their desk. There's no way we're going back up there because if we do you KNOW they'd only be $5 a piece. The shitty part is that since we didn't go back up there you KNOW they are $1000 a piece. We just can't win for losing! But hey, we had a great time and we have each other. What more could you want right?

Oh, by the way Carinie - the picture on the top of my blog was taken at Andrew's parents house in Colusa on the day of the Almond Festival.

Here's some pictures:

Old Sac-a-tamotes

Yesterday Andrew and cruised Old Sac and did a few things I've been meaning to do for years: go to the train museum and ride the train along the river. It's funny how I'll drive hours and hours to see an attraction somewhere else but I never take the time to see the ones in my own back yard. The train museum was really interesting and fun. I know I'm a grown up now because I love museums. I think it's the history that draws me to them. I never liked history until I got into college and then I realized I love it!!! The train ride was ok. It just went up the river a teenie tiny bit and brought you back. Nothing horribly exciting but it sure is nice to sit in an open air car and let the breeze cool you down as you over look the river. We've decided that we want to take a dinner cruise on the river. Has anyone done that? If so was it worth it?

So this week is the 4th of July. Hip Hip Hooray! I used to love the 4th of July because it meant swimming and fire works. I still love it but it puts a damper on my fun when it's in the middle of the week. This year I'm going to BBQ with my folks and then either watch the fireworks at the high school or if I'm feeling particularly energetic I'll watch them over the river in Colusa with the in laws. I love my in laws by the way and they love me :) They basically love me because they LOATHE Andrew's ex wife but whatever.....

Only a month and a half until I go to Niagara Falls!!!

Oh, guess what? We paid ALL of our bills on time this month. Yippeeeeee!!!! Usually we pick which ones to pay and which ones to wait on but not this month. We're finally getting somewhere (with the help of Weenie of course).