Literally. The dogs are taking over my life. It's absurd. So Gidget is our 4 year old lab who recently went into heat. Since her and her family are known far and wide for their duck hunting skills we decided it would be a good idea to breed her and make a few extra bucks. We just happen to have a friend who has a gorgeous papered black lab male that was interested in breeding him. Sounds simple right? Of course it does. Andrew goes and picks up Snoop (the male) and brings him down to our house for a week of what I thought was going to be the best time of his life. WRONG. The little fucker hiked his leg on the wall and the garbage can within 3 minutes of his arrival. Outside goes the snoop dog. Problem fixed right? Ha! Wrong again. Precious little Snoop is trampling the garden so my genius boyfriend decided to put Gidget's harness on him and tie him to a chain. At last! The end of our problems! Well for at least 5 mins. I go to bed and Snoop goes into this horrible whining, barking, howling fit that is keeping me up and I KNOW it's pissing the neighbors off. So I go out back to see what the hell is going on. On a side note here Andrew insists we sleep nude. I know, I know - too much information but it's pertinant to the story, trust me. So I'm out in MY backyard (there's a slider in my bedroom) in my birthday suit fighting with the freaking beasts and I hear a voice that sounds like it's coming from my back yard say "Oh shit!!!" followed by the sound of a sliding glass door shutting. I assume it's my nocturnal roommate at the slider in the dining room so I continue my struggle with the black beast who has somehow managed to get off his chain and then I head back inside. Something tells me I should ask Weenie if it was her that saw me nekkid in the backyard. Guess what? It wasn't. So some random strange peeping Tom neighbor got more than they bargained for last night! That's right, people. If you here my dog making weird noises at night time just put in some damn earplugs and go about your business! So I decide I should just let the dog in so that I don't cause drama between me and my neighbors. He immediately hikes his leg on my bed. Out goes the Snoop dog once more. At this point I'm pissed off and Andrew is in Natomas buying parts for a truck he's repairing. I call him and tell him to get home and do something because I'm not getting any sleep and neither is anyone else in the neighborhood. So he comes home and sets up a kennel in our bedroom for snoop to sleep in. He still whined and I had to say NO 20 million times but eventually we all fell asleep and all was good in the world.
Until day 2.
I put Snoop and Gidget out in the morning to go potty and I didn't bother to chain up Snoop because I was lazy and in my work clothes, etc. Plus it was Andrew's day off so I figured what the hell right? Andrew gets up and looks out back...... no Snoop. Little fucker jumped the 7 ft fence and was chilling in the neighbors yard. Andrew coaxes his ass back over and chains his ass back up. Another hour goes by and Andrew goes out back to check on the dogs and there's the chain.... there's the harness..... No Snoop. The pyscho has managed to get out of his harness (not a collar, a harness!) and jumped the freaking fence again. BASTARD. So guess what Andrew gets to do? Roam Woodland looking for this damn dog that isn't wearing a tag since he left his harness behind him. Throughout the course of the day Andrew tied him up 3 more times, each time tightening his harness and he got out 3 more times! He's finally stuck. We called the owner and told him this dog isn't working out and he said he'd come by and get it. That was like 8 hours ago. Did I mention that the owner is a huge flake. Andrew called and said he was going to put Snoop back in the owners yard but the owner wasn't down with that because he was leaving and he didn't want Snoop escaping from his yard. Apparently he's a 4 legged Hudini and the owner never bothered to tell us! So here we go into night 2 with pyscho dog. And of course, Gidget wants nothing to do with him. Good times!
I leave you with a recipe for hotdog burritos.
Ingredients:
1 cute, cuddly, loveable weiner dog
1 soft, fuzzy blanket
Put the hotdog in the blanket. Fold up the ends and roll. Violia! Hotdog burrito!
4 comments:
Aw that is a crazy dog. sounds like a dog i use to have about jumping the fences. Do you still have the dog? Just take it to the humane society if the owner is being flaky. although that is kinda mean.
You are still going to breed gidget, yeah? If so i want to come over when the puppies are there i want to see the puppies :)
Now you know why your momma always said put clean underwear on when you go out. You never know whats gonna happen. And here you are going out with none. Serves ya right. LOL. But you do know that everytime the dog is outside barking at night, the neighbors are gonna be out at the fence.
Great picture of frankie!
Too funny what you did to Arlene's dog! Too cute!
That is hysterical. A real hot dog.
Post a Comment