I was sitting at my desk today talking to my partner in crime about how I'm going to write a book called Traffic Citation for Dummies that teaches the people of California how NOT to act like jackasses when they get a traffic citation. Radyne suggested that someone should write an instruction manual for life that details what to do in all kinds of awkward situations. I took it upon myself to accept this task but so far I've only come up with one chapter and that was only to help Radyne. See, Radyne's fiance is a pilot and they are flying up to Mendocino this weekend in the plane he built (yikes!!!) to go fishing in the ocean with a man who is known to sink his ships. Radyne is worried because she gets sea sick so she's forgoing alcohol in favor of Dramamine. Her concern is that when the ship sinks she'll be the only sober one when the sharks start chewing on their legs.
My solution: Take a pocket knife with you and keep it in your pants pocket. Stay on deck of the boat so you don't get caught underwater when the ship sinks. When you are all safely floating along the top of the water and you see the sharks approach quickly take out your pocket knife and shank the guy who caused the boat to wreck in the first place. The sharks will smell his blood and eat him while you swim to safety. This is, of course, is if she survives the plane ride.
So what do you think? Pretty morbid, huh? But hell, sometimes you have to be morbid to survive. Radyne thinks I may have something wrong with me today because I also suggested that a certain customer who was throwing a full out toddler tantrum about paying $10 for his fix it ticket when he makes $50 an hour (he was sure to tell us this multiple times) should just do us all a favor and take his $10 down to the nearest Walmart and invest in a nice, shiny BULLET to put him and everyone else out of their misery. I mean really people - $10? You can barely eat at McDonald's for that price anymore! Get over it.
In other non related news the puppy ate my flip flop today. He must die.
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uh oh. please don't shoot me for leaving a comment :P hehehe
The puppy ate your flip flop? My mom has this cat that would pretty much destroy my flip flops but I would still wear them with the teeth marks etched all over them. I don't know if she does it anymore though.
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