The wedding has been saved

So after frantically searching for a new place to hold the wedding with no luck my mom finally called my aunt and asked her what the F was going on. The wedding is back on at her house. As suspected she knew nothing about my grandmothers phone call to my dad claiming that they are moving. In fact they have taken the week of my wedding off and have invested money in making the landscaping nice for the wedding. My mom threatened to call the owners of the house and ask them if we can have the wedding there whether they are there or not (she knows the owners because, well, Esparto is small town). My aunt said there was no need. So GOD WILLING everything runs as planned. Luckily grandma has no say in where they live because she fucked herself years ago and she's at the mercy of my aunt and uncle.

Things On The Road Thursday!!!!

Brought to us by Barnmouse!

This baby was right outside my office making my participation in Things On The Road Thursday almost too easy for me. So how many of y'all can say that your city has a Dead Cat Alley?

I looked high and low on the internet to find the true history of Dead Cat Alley but I couldn't find it anyway so you'll get the version that I remember:

Nobody knows the true origin on the name Dead Cat Alley but there are a few spectulations. In the 1800's when the Land of Wood was being founded the alley was inhabited by Chinese immigrants who ran various businesses and probably a few opium dens. They all lived in shacks in horrible conditions. Some say that Dead Cat alley got it's name because when the city started renovated the alley they found all kinds of cat bones with hack marks in them, insinuating that the Chinese immigrants who occupied the area ate the cats. Others say that the alley was overrun with rats and the residents put out poison for the rats which the cats ended up eating or they ate the poisoned rats thus causing cats to drop dead left and right. Historical documents say the name was around long before the Chinese immigrants but nobody knows for sure.

In any case it's pretty unique to say the least. One of the best BBQ places in town (and one of my personal favorite restaurants) has claim to the address 666 Dead Cat Alley. It's said to be haunted which wouldn't surprise me as it's right smack next door to the historic Opera House which is haunted by a fire fighter that died in there during a fire (it's true, I found it in a book about haunted houses all over the state).

Did you play?

And just because it's valentines day - look what the boy sent me:

Dogs + Vacuum = Enema

Let me illustrate:

+

=


EWWW!!! I wondered why my trusty vacuum hadn't been working right and then today it stopped sucking all together. I pulled the bag off and saw a hair ball sticking out of the tubey thingy that the dirt get sucked through. I pulled the tube off and shoved one of those things that you use to take off your lugnuts with down the pipe (it's just one stick, not like the swastica ones). All this crap came out of my poor little vacuum! I'll tell you what though - my carpets got a good cleaning today! My vacuum worked like it was a young stud again!

The Margarator

Today I had big plans to get all kinds of stuff done. I imagined we would register for gifts, get the tux thing squared away, pick up some envelopes from the friend who is making my invitations, and check out some craft stores where I would purchase a calligraphy pen for Andrew's mom (she's addressing our envelopes) and the ribbon to use on my cake. I think like two of those things happened.

First we ate lunch at Johnny Rockets which was oh so yummy! Then we wandered over to Sears to register for gifts. We asked the first employee we saw where we should go to register and she said HR. I knew for a fact that was wrong but we thought maybe HR knew so we went there anyway and asked. They sent us to the housewares which makes more sense. We ran into some guys trying to sell washing machines and they directed us to go right. We went right and another sales rep directed us to go left, back past the washing machine guys to the kiosk that was hiding behind some stoves. The kiosk went skitzo on us so we went back to the lady who told us that they get jammed up on the weekends alot and there's nothing she can do until Tuesday. Nice.

Then we tried to leave the mall to go to Rashell's house. Oh. My. God. I totally remember now why I can't stand big cities. It took us literally 20 mins to leave the parking lot. Then we had to fight traffic all the way down Arden to get going the right direction. Horrifying. I could have walked home from the mall here in Woodland in like 5 mins. Ok, so I live next door but whatever! It was insane. Not to mention all the ghetto ass people that were blaring their music with their windows down with their $1,000 rims on their $200 car. BAH!

Finally we made it out of that mess and to Rashell's where we got our envelopes and then headed to the Elk Grove Target to register. You know those commercials for Osh that have a guy who's always lost in the warehouse store and he tries to tie a note to a pigeon leg just to realize he already pinned a note to that pigeons leg and that pigeon hasn't found a way out yet either? Yeah, it was like that. I literally had to take a break in the furniture department because my dogs were barking something awful! I didn't realize how much stuff I would want in there! Sheesh!

While we were in Target I saw the coolest thing ever - The Margarator. It even switches from AC to DC power so you can take it camping or boating!! Yes!!! I wanted it sooo bad but we couldn't find it on the shelf anywhere and the display was missing it's cords. Bastards. I saw the much coveted chocolate fountain too but there wasn't any chocolate to put in it :(.

Finally we got out of there and scooted over to Michael's where they didn't have shit for calligraphy pens or cute wedding stuff. By then we'd been out and about for 5 hours and I was ready to hit the road.

Oh wait, I forgot we stopped at the Mens Wearhouse where Andrew picked out a $400 suit (not including the shirt, tie and shoes!!!!!) that he wants to buy for the wedding. He says he hates tuxedos. I like suits just fine except for the price! Holy Jesus! I told him that if he can convince the other boys to go for it than ok but if not HELL NO. To rent a tux is only $150 and you get the whole nine yards! His damn suit will end up costing as much as my dress by the time he's done. Craziness.

The hunt for a wedding venue is still on. I think we've got it somewhat narrowed down but we have to do some visiting before we make any decisions. I'll keep ya posted :)

Political blog

I did something this week that I haven't done in a loooong time. I registered to vote. Normally I don't give a crap about politics because I believe they are all liars, they all suck, and my life doesn't change too incredibly much. I still pay taxes out my ass, foreign countries still get bombed for shits and giggles, and too many American's go without health care. There are a few issues I do feel strongly about though and my coworker informed me that McCain has made remarks that go totally against my beliefs. Namely, he wants to overturn Roe vs. Wade. I'm not surprised seeings how he's George W's number 1 choice and we all know that George Jr. lacks a great deal in the common sense department. I'm partial to the democrats anyway because I'm pretty liberal in my beliefs but I strongly believe in pro-choice.

I believe that every woman should have the right to choose whether they become mothers or not. I say this with limitations of course. I do believe that you should have the right to an abortion as long as it's in the first trimester or so. None of these abortions at 6, 7, or 8 months! That's just crazy. I know alot of people will argue that it's a baby the day the little spermy entered the little eggy and God went to work on his miracle. Whatever. It's a bunch of cells that are splitting. Yes, eventually it will become a baby and I don't like to see babies killed. But I much prefer the "baby" being killed when it's a mass of cells without a brain than when it's two and it's meth addicted father beats it to death. Or neglects it until it finally dies. Or beats it, locks it in closets, refuses to feed it, can't feed it, can't house it, can't cloth it, etc because Meth is #1 and baby is waaaaay down the list. Or maybe is mom is a 15 year old girl who can't tell her family she's pregnant because they will beat her, disown her, stone her to death, whatever. She can't get an abortion thanks to the government (or she can't get one without her parents consent) so she gets a back yard abortion and both her and the baby die. Or maybe mom was raped and she's having a hard enough time getting her life back together let alone trying to raise a kid who looks like her rapist and will ask a million questions about how he/she came to be. Or maybe mom is trying really, really hard but she has to work 2 jobs, dad isn't around, and they have no family support so the kids falls into a gang and kills some folks to be "cool." I'm not saying that abortion will end all of our social problems. I'm just saying that it's only going to get worse if women are forced into having children that they don't want.

I believe that if crack heads, rapists, child abductors, and the like than are allowed to get married than homosexual couples should too! Hmm... let's see. Cracky and Child Molester have the state and the church's blessing to wed and procreate little devils that do nothing but bring down our nation but Joe (a successly attorney who pays taxes like everyone else and volunteers at the homeless shelter every Saturday) and his boyfriend Bob (A nurse in the neonatal division who also pays taxes and donates money to help animals) have to sneak into Canada to get hitched. Of course the formal hitching doesn't count here in the good ol' USA and neither Joe or Bob (who are totally fictional by the way) can benefit from one another's health benefits or life insurance, etc. Neither can they adopt children which they both long for and have more than enough means to support. The children are instead left in foster care, in orphanages, on the streets, wherever while they wait for a qualifying heterosexual couple to come along. What's the deal people? Are you afraid that they will turn out gay because they're parents are? Is that really such a bad thing? Does it make you a worse person for choosing an outstanding same sex partner over a lousy opposite sex one? I don't get it. I believe the church should be able to turn away gay marriages but I believe that judges and such should have to perform them.

I'm also anti-war. This war is a joke. A JOKE. It's more like a competition to see who can kill more people. I think we're winning. I completely support the soilders and I am proud of them and proud of my country but come on! It's going on 7 years now and I don't think anyone has even looked for Osama Bin Laden! He's probably been at home this whole time watching ESPN. Now McCain says that when he's done in Iraq he's going to go after Iran. For what? Oil rights? I have an idea - why don't we show the world we're smarter than that and learn to become less oil dependent. We've got it started with hybrid cars and such now let's finish it (and hell no I do not drive an ugly ass hybrid. Why can't they make them cute?). Oh and here's another thing for the white house to chew over - Umm... maybe they hate us because we bomb their countries killing innocent civillians like crazy, we make shit up (i.e. weapons of mass destruction) in order to start a fight, we demand their natural resources, and all around act as the bully's of the world. They don't hate us because we're "free." Who gives a crap about us being "free"? If they wanted freedom they would start a revolt in their own country, not concentrate on us.

So after all that's been said I'm voting for Obama. I don't give a shit that he's black and that he's muslim. Nor do I give a shit that Hilary is a woman (more power to her!). I don't think us democrats have a chance in hell because there is alot of the country who will still vote for a white male NO MATTER WHAT HIS POLICIES before they vote for a black man or a woman. But at least when the middle east starts bombing the shit out of US for a change and the streets are littered with unwanted children I can say I voted against it all.

So in closing I hope I didn't offend anyone. I'm really not a political person, I just have a few sore spots. I guess now isn't a good time to bring up the dead kitty we found in our driveway that we're guessing froze to death. Poor kitty!!!!!! It was always milling around the block meowing and meowing but it wouldn't let anyone get near it. The neighbors said they tried to take it in but it wouldn't come in their house and it wouldn't let them touch it. It makes me sooo sad to think about that little kitty shivering on the cold concrete with no home while my big furry bastards cuddled up on their big furry bed (or with us) in a heated house. Why can't all animals be taken care of??? It's not fair!!!

Here's a pic of my two beasts for the road:

Minor problemo

Did I say minor? I meant seriously F'ing major. My wedding has been scheduled for May 17th of this year at my aunt and uncle's house in the country. They rent the house but they've been there a few years and they promised me that they would never leave unless they owners drug them out by their hair. My mom gets a phone call the other night that went much like this:

p.s. my psycho grandma lives with my aunt

My grandma: The electricity bill is rather high here and we're probably gonna move. You might want to have a back up plan for Sarah's wedding.

My mom: Ex-cuse me? Come again? I know you did not just say we better come up with a back up plan 3.5 monts before this wedding is supposed to go down after I've already put thousands of dollars down on services for that day.

My grandma: Well Kim (my aunt) won't chop any fire wood for next year (hello, why would she? It's been pouring ass rain for two weeks and they already have a huger arsonal of wood stacked up) Kurt won't do things that I've asked him to do and we can't barely afford to live so we're thinking about moving but it's not for sure yet so we just don't know. I'm being nice by giving you fair warning.

*side note: my grandma is fucking crazy and her and my mom have never seen eye to eye for a good reason.

My mom: Well if you're even considering it we're going to have to find a new place right now because places book up and we can't just decide the week before the wedding that we're changing locations.

Then my mom calls me and I become as infuriated as she is. First of all, I won't go in to it but let's just say my grandma has never been one to want to see me or my mom happy. Second of all, what the FUCK is wrong with my aunt for letting it come to this? I've been close to her my entire life and she bends over backwards for everyone. Why does she have to screw me? Thirdly, invitation almost got printed with their address on it. One more week and I would have had to toss my invites! Thanks god my friend is making them for me (she's in the business). Fourthly, how in sam's hill and I going to find a place to hold the wedding this late in the game? I've already got contracts out for May 17th -what if everything is seriously booked up? Lastly, where the hell are we going to come up with the money to pay for a venue? We never budgeted for it so now either my parents or Andrew and I have to pull a grand or two out of our ass to pay for place to have the wedding! Most likely we'll end up with a shitty local that puts a serious damper on my garden theme. There goes my gerbera daisy cupcakes in terra cotta pots.

Assholes! How can they even consider moving before my wedding? We have out of town guests that have already booked their flights and made their travel arrangments! Some of my contracts may not allow me to change the date if necessary without paying out the ass!

All this and that's just the latest of my problems with them. So here's the breakdown of my family - the grandmother of which I speak is my dad's mom and she's hated my mom since day one for taking her son away (Oh wait! She kicked him out at 17 so he joined the army and then she pulled him back out for no apparent reason 'cause parents can do that before you turn 18 and then let him live in his car for awhile. But nevermind all that, my mom is seductive whore in her eyes). She does NOTHING but critize me and my mom, constantly bringing up the fact that we're fat. She sneaks it in like saying "I didn't think your dad would go for a larger woman like your mom but I guess he liked her face. Some day you'll find someone who doesn't mind your size." Then she wonders why I don't care to spend time with her.

Her daughter Kim is my dad's half sister and the baby of the family. I've always been really close to Kim as her daughter, Krista, is my age and we grew up really close. In grandma's eyes Krista is God. Krista can't keep a job, flakes on everything, and picks her boyfriends based on their ability to buy her things. Kim is stuck having grandma live with her because she spends every dime she gets before she makes it and somewhere along the line grandma sold her house to bail Kim out of debt or some shit like that.

Krista is the 3rd generation in this fucked up matriarch and I've already mentioned some of her qualities. I love her to death regardless though and she is my maid of honor. I've been engaged since August. A few weeks ago I told her it was time to order a bridesmaid dress. She wrote back and said that she was so broke she can't even buy food and she can't order a dress. Now if we didn't order our dresses by Feb 1 they wouldn't have arrived in time for the wedding even with super rush delivery that I paid $30 extra dollars per dress for so I had to spot her $100 to order her damn dress and you know I'll never get the money back but whatever. She's also flaked on me every time I've asked her to do something wedding related with me.

I'm seriously at the point where I want to call the whole thing off and elope to Tahoe but I can't because I have contracts already and they would probably cost my mom a fortune if we broke them. So now I'm frantically searching for a place that's affordable and has my day open. Nice, real nice.

Stolen from Myspace.....

1) Answer the questions below
2) Take each answer and type it into Photobucket
3) Take a picture from the first page of results and copy the html code.
4) You cant copy the persons answers who posted this before you!

1. The age you will be on your next birthday:

2. A place you'd like to travel:

3. Your favorite place:

4. Your favorite object:

5. Your favorite food:
(I love this picture!!!)
6. Your favorite shape:

7. Your favorite color:

8. The town in which you were born:
Not really 'cause there isn't a hospital there but that's where I lived when I left the hospital
9. What did you do last weekend?

10. The name of your pet:

&

11. The first name of your love:

12. Your nickname/screen name:
(Boons - and not 'cause I drink 'em)
13. Your Current Job?

14. Favorite Show?

15. A habit of yours:

16. Your first job:

17. Your grandmother's name:

&
(OCIE)
18. Your favorite book:

19. Your favorite animal?

20. The town in which you live?

21. Your name?

22. Your middle name?

23. Your last name?

24. Favorite Band?